Episode 15 - What Ever Happened to Sir Loin o' Beef?
11th day of February, 1640.
One week had passed since the four ships had left Santiago and headed into the unknown. A few days earlier there had been a heated discussion between Coggy, Moose and Tew, about Cogs decision not to attack a passing Spanish fleet containing a couple of Brigs and a Fluyte. Tension was still running high amongst the various crews.
The four ships soon anchored close to a small island, 150 miles south of Jamaica.
Coggy was in his cabin when La Foot knocked on the door.
"Sir, yew asked ta see me?" he said.
"Arrr, come in lad," replied the Captain, "I want's ta restock our provisions on this 'ere island before we continues on to Cartagena," explained Coggy, "So get word to tha others ta meet me on tha beach in twenty minutes."
"Aye Sir" replied La Foot, as he disappeard towards the Bridge.
A few minutes later...
As the three open launches approached the beach, Quinn noticed a sorry looking soul standing there, waiting for the pirates to land.
"Who the bleedin' 'ell is that?" he asked, pointing to the wretched man.
The boats came ashore and the man wasted no time in wading towards them with a broad grin on his face.
"Thankyee, thankyee," he called, in a overwhelmed tone of voice to the disembarking pirates, "I thoughts yee'd never come, I thoughts yee'd not seen me fire, I dids!" he said, with glee.
"Just who are you?" asked Davey Jones.
"I's mighty grateful, I is, yes, mighty grateful" he blabbered.
"Well… Mr Grateful… would ye kindly git yer lice-ridden paws off 'r me!" replied Coggy as he shrugged away from the welcoming wretch.
"Aye Cap'n, aye aye Sir!" he said, as he enthusiastically saluted every one of the pirates as they made their way up the beach.
"What's yer name?" asked Davey again, as the swab gleefully jigged in and out of the pirates.
"Me no name… me forgets" said the man.
Morgan stopped walking and proclaimed, "I know who it be!" as he slowly recognized the poor man's bearded face.
The others stopped and turned to look at Morgan as Moose and Tew approached the group.
"It's me bleedin' long-lost cousin! - dat's who tha bugger be!" announced Morgan as a friendly smile came across his face.
The others looked on as Morgan shook the hand of the wretch, "Beefy!… me auld mate! What the 'ell 'appened to ye?" he said, as the man stopped his jig and scrutinized Morgan's face.
"Who tha bleedin' 'ell 'is it?" asked the frustrated Davey once again.
"Davey Jones, meet me cousin from St Kitts - Sir Loin o Beef!" replied Morgan, as he embraced the smiling man.
The others just looked on in stunned silence as the two cousins danced a jig with each other in the shallow water.
Thirty minutes later...
Coggy gave the order for some of his crew to head into the jungle, "Get us plenty o' fruit lads... and for tha lucky swab dat brings me back some ripe coconuts I'll give the bugger an extra portion o' plunder" he called.
The eager men quickly disappeared to explore the island.
"So let me get this straight," said the still amazed Davey to Morgan, "Beefy, here, 'as been marooned on this 'ere island fer five bleedin' years?"
"Five, yes five!" said Sir Loin pointing to his fingers.
"That's about it," said Morgan, "Poor swine sey's he was voted out by his crew and left here wit nottin' but a pistol 'n a bottle o' rum"
"Bbbbbaa Baaa Bastids!" stuttered Sir Loin, with a frown.
"I didn't know yew had a cousin, 'Enry," replied Quinn, "…and a former Cap'n at that!" he added, as he handed the poor swab some rum.
"Aye mate, 'appens me and Beefy had a good ting goin' at one time," said Morgan, "We use ta sail together at one point, and got in a few scrapes once in a while too" he continued, as he patted Beefy on the shoulder.
Sir Loin gave the men a grin as he finished off the rum, "More!" he called as he handed the empty bottle back to Quinn.
Meanwhile, Coggy sat talking to Moose and Tew.
"Once we's restocked, we'll up anchor and continue at first light," he said, as he glanced over to the horizon and watched the sun begin to slowly set.
"I reckon's some of yer crew will be murmuring against ye, Cap'n" said Tew, "Maybe yee'll end up like that wretch, one day" he added, pointing to Morgan's cousin.
"Aye, Coggy, Tew's right," added the concerned Moose, "We should 'ave takin' those Spanish ships, twas a mistake letting 'em go like ye did" he continued, with reference to Coggy's decision not to attack the mentioned ships two days previous.
"And ye call yerself a pirate!" added Tew, trying to insult the Captain.
Coggy continued to watch the sunset before replying in a calm tone, "Lads, if'n we took tha risk of hitting those ships - we could 'ave took some loses we can ill afford" he said.
Tew and Moose were still unconvinced.
"Coggy, we battered a bleedin' Armada a while back - lest ye ferget!" replied Moose.
"Do yew tink three poxy trade ship's would cause us a problem?" added Tew, sarcastically.
Coggy turned to the two Captains, "Yer right, tha both of ye. We could of took those ships easily… BUT, if'n it's a choice of addin' a couple o' worthless traders to our lil' fleet or the unlikely chance of damaging one of our own warships, then I tink me decision wus the right'n" he said, sticking to his conviction.
Tew and Moose thought for a while.
"We can't afford anymore run-ins with tha dons jus' yet - we needs tha fleet ta be up 'n ready when we reaches Cart." contiuned Cog, "Lest ye ferget - it took old Francis Drake more than fifty ships ta sack Cartagena all those years ago - and we's got four! Two of which still need runnin' repairs." he finished.
"Arrr, maybe yer right, Cog… maybe yer right" replied Moose, as he came to see his mates' reasoning.
"Besides, tha riches of Cartagena and me treasure map, far outweigh anything yer poxy men can get from three traders" added Coggy, before lighting up some tobacco and passing it to Tew and Moose.
Just then a couple of wild boars came squealing out of the jungle, quickly followed by some of Coggy's men with cutlasses at the ready.
"Go git 'em boys!" called Coggy with glee, as all three Captians laughed at the swabs' antics.
Sir Loin o Beef noticed the commotion and quickly leapt to his feet.
"Harrrr, look at those sorry buggers!" laughed Morgan.
The boars scampered around the beach with several eager sailors in close pursuit.
"Yeeeaahh, we's avin' us a fine meal tonight!" called one of the swabs, just before the boar gave him the slip.
"You sorry buggers couldn't catch syphilis from a Tortuga whore!" called Quinn, with tears of laughter rolling down his cheek.
Sir Loin o Beef looked concerned and quickly rushed towards Cogs men, tackling one to the ground!
"What the bloody 'ell 'is the freak doin'?" asked Coggy, as he stood and watched the events unfold.
"Leave!… LEAVE!" growled Beefy, "Me beauties, Me grunters!" he added, as he jumped up and headed for another crewman.
Morgan realized his cousin's dilemma, "Hey, Coggy!" he shouted, "Me tinks yer men 'r in fer some trouble if'n they don't leave them thar squealers alone!" he called, with a laugh.
"Yeah, 'appen the pigs 'r ol' Beefy's pets!" added Davey, trying ta gather his composure.
Coggy made his way over to one of his crew who had managed to wrestle a pig to the ground.
"I wouldn't do that if'n I wus thee!" said the Captain to his crewman, who was about to slit the throat of the boar.
Just then, Beefy dived atop the sailor and knocked the knife out of his hand as the boar leapt to it's feet and scampered off into the jungle.
"Me beauties, me pets" grumbled Sir Loin, as Morgan and Davey approached.
Coggy lifted his crewman to his feet, "Never ye mind, lad" he said, "'Appen's we'll just 'ave ta 'ave ships biscuits 'n bread fer breakfast" he added, with a smile.
Later that evening, as the twilight began to fade, the group of men finished stocking thier meagre provisions they'd acquired from the island.
Coggy placed the last load into the rowboat and prepared to head back to the anchored ships.
"Yer cousin is welcome ta join us, 'Enry" said Coggy to Morgan.
"Arrr, Cog, 'appen I can't get tha poor bugger to come along. I's asked him, but he's changed his mind and reckon's he's too used to tha solitude of dis 'ere island now," replied the disheartend Morgan, "…and he doesn't wanna leave his mates anyhow" he said, pointing to the poor wretch who was patting a tame boar.
"Tis a sorry sight to see a man go insane," remarked Moose as he climbed into the boat.
"Squawk-ye-can-say-dat-again!" squawked Arfur the parrot in agreement.
"Aye, but if'n yew asked that thar sorry bugger who 'r the insane ones, he'd give ye a different answer, mate" replied Morgan, with reference to the pirates' approaching attack on Cartagena.
The rowboats pulled away from the beach leaving Sir Loin o Beef alone in his solitude.
"That poor swab is the sorriest bugger I's ever met" said Coggy, as the launch headed back to the anchored ships, leaving Sir Loin mumbling away to himself on the beach.
"Maybe I'll come back for him one day" said Morgan, as he gave the wretch a final salute.